"Adventures in Mother-sitting"
"Adventures in Mother-sitting" by Doreen "Dody" Cox
For a daughter, at age 61, being called “mommy” by her own mother was a heart-wrenching experience. This happened to the author during the course of a three-year adventure as the at-home caregiver to her mother, much loved yet caught up in a downward spiral of physical, mental and developmentally regressed disabilities.
"It's Always Darkest" by Stephen Spencer
Small-town sportswriter Paul Mallory doesn't need much to keep him happy: Red Stripe beer, H. Upmann cigars, and enough money to put down a few bets at the track every so often will do the trick nicely. He likes his quiet, undemanding life in upstate New York, and he really likes his quiet and undemanding girlfriend Pam. Maybe he even loves her.
Each day is an adventure because when dementia is present, the typical actions involved with daily care habits become unpredictable. The experience is also termed an adventure because of the surprising twists and turns of emotion that arose in the author, compelling her to recognize and face deep-seated fears and unwanted emotional reactions whenever her performance was not in accord with the spiritual vision that she had of herself. Moments of comic relief would save the author from the depths of grief’s despair during not only pill-taking and messy hygienic episodes but, also, during her mother’s recurring stumbles and falls and during those night-time personality changes that occur due to sun downing events that are a common aspect of dementia.
Adventures in Mother-Sitting is a story that reveals a mother’s final gifts of spirit to a daughter who had yearned for and sought after ever-deepening experiences of faith, trust, humility, and the peace that passes all of her understanding. The mantra that kept her going, reverberating in the back of the author’s mind, was an echo of her mother’s life-long response to any calamitous event. Her mother had always told her girls, “You do what you have to do. God gives you the strength. That’s how I was able to raise you four little girls after your daddy died.”
Regressed in her mind to comprehending the world through a child’s point of view, the mother’s last few years of life were full of happy, joyful moments despite the downward spiral of her physical body’s health. This mother’s expressions of spontaneous joy became the balm that soothed the author’s own tired, sad, and despairing spirit. “How can I stay sad in the presence of my mother’s joy?” the author wrote in her journal one night. Adventures in Mother-Sitting depicts not only the role changes that occur in the relationship between a caregiver daughter and her beloved mother but also, the more compassionate relationship that the daughter gains with herself as she learns to walk more honestly and gently with her fears, worries, and shortcomings.
Small-town sportswriter Paul Mallory doesn't need much to keep him happy: Red Stripe beer, H. Upmann cigars, and enough money to put down a few bets at the track every so often will do the trick nicely. He likes his quiet, undemanding life in upstate New York, and he really likes his quiet and undemanding girlfriend Pam. Maybe he even loves her.
Then, on his very first assignment with the mysterious Cramer Press Syndicate, Mallory immediately finds himself in the spotlight at a Russian handball tournament and must decide whether to become personally involved in the biggest story he's ever covered—putting both his career and his life on the line in the process.
Whatever he does, he'll never be the same again.
A great introduction to the world of Paul Mallory's adventures – highly recommended for those who enjoy intelligent thrillers.